The Purse
Tracy Seeger
"Empty your purse in front of everyone!" said Cheryl.
It had been a pretty tame game of Truth or Dare so far. Which female celebrity would you most like to kiss? Where's the weirdest place you've had sex? Kiss the person sitting next to you on the lips. You would think a group of twelve women in their early thirties having a girls night in for the first time in months would be more creative than that. But we had plenty of wine, and things were about to liven up with the dare Cheryl had just given me. I hadn't cleaned out my purse in months. I frantically tried to remember if there was anything embarrassing in there.
"Come on, Jules!" said Karen. So I took a deep breath and tipped the whole lot out onto the table. The small plastic container rolled towards the edge. Tara grabbed it and looked at it curiously.
"I didn't know you were on medication," she said, peering through the dark plastic. "What are these anyway?"
"Just some old painkillers I think," I managed to say lightly. My stomach was twisting. How had I forgotten they were in there?
"Oh, great," said Beth, "I can feel my wine head starting already. Can I grab one of those please?"
"Uh, I think they're out of date." It was the best I could manage, but it didn't work.
"I don't mind," said Beth. "Throw them over here Tara." But Tara was still looking at the bottle. She looked up at me, and I could tell from her eyes that she knew.
"These aren't painkillers," she said. "I found some of these in Abby's bedroom a few months ago. We had a huge row about it. I couldn't believe my little girl was taking drugs."
"What? You mean that's Ecstasy?" said Karen. She couldn't keep the shock, the amazement out of her voice. None of us had ever been into drugs, less than half of us even smoked.
"Would you believe me if I told you I only tried it once?" I asked the floor. Beth put her hand on my arm and said gently, "Jules, what happened?"
The tenderness in her voice brought tears to my eyes. "It was about three months ago," I began, "just after my mom got sick. Work was really stressing me out, and Denny and I were getting badly into debt. I was a mess. Then I had to go to that conference in Vegas for work. I didn't want to leave my mom, and Denny and I had a huge row about gambling away money we didn't have, so I was hardly in the mood for partying when we got there. But on the last night everyone wanted to go out. I went along, but most of the evening is pretty hazy. I remember feeling miserable and drinking too much. I remember a guy coming over to my table and promising to make me feel better, and I definitely remember being terrified of what he was implying. Then I just remember feeling so amazingly happy, dancing for hours and loving everyone and everything."
I finally looked up at the faces of my friends sitting around me, rapt. I was surprised to see they all looked so sympathetic. Tears came to my eyes again.
"The next day I found the other pills in my purse while I was packing, but I had such a bad hangover I didn't even realize what they were. It occurred to me later that day, but as soon as I got home I was back dealing with my mom and our debt problems, and I pushed the whole evening into the back of my mind. I didn't even remember the pills were still in my purse until they rolled across the table just now."
Beth put her arms around my shoulders and I let the tears fall at last. Tara came over and rubbed my back. She was still holding the pill bottle.
"You know what you have to do, right?" she said. I turned to her and nodded, and took the pills from her. When I came back from the kitchen Cheryl was already pouring more wine, and Karen was putting my junk back into my purse.
"Ok," she said with a big smile, "NOW we've got a game of Truth or Dare going on!"
Copyright © 2009 Tracy Seeger. All rights reserved.